It is so hot ...

It is so hot ...

• The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
• The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
• Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
• The cows are giving evaporated milk.
• The trees are whistling for the dogs.
• You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
• You can say 113 degrees without fainting.
• You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
• Or go to McDonalds to get coffee and pour it on your lap -- just to cool off!
• You can make instant sun tea.
• You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
• The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a bit chilly.
• You have experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
• You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
• You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
• The 4 summer months are: Tolerable, Hot, Really Hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
• You discover that in July, it takes only two fingers to drive your car.
• You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
• You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
• Hot water now comes out of both taps.
• It is noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
• You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
• You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
• No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
• Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
• You realise that asphalt has a liquid state.

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1) People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2) People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3) When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4) When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5) When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6) People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7) When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8) When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9) When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

5 days since my last post, so I better write something...

I was going to tell you about Ken Jennings Blog, and his trivia contest, but some schmuck from the Washington Post wrote about him today(and not nicely I might add), and now his CPU quota is exceeded, and I cannot access his site.
Y'all remember Ken Jennings who won on Jeopardy! for like 6 months. I love that guy. He is a geek, and a nerd, and has an amazing sense of humor. He reminds me of several people that I knew in college.

Okay, I have nothing... I feel like that guy in the Toyota comercial...completely blank, with the answer right there. Yes, I was at Wal-Mart on Sunday afternoon, and I still forgot to buy batteries, so no new digital pics until I do that.

I also forgot light bulbs, and let me tell you the trip to bed up the twisty winding stairs in the dark is quite an adventure. No one has broken their neck yet, but I am always the first one up, so I turn on a bedroom light so everyone else can see.

Love living in the middle of nowhere... Hate forgetting something important when I actually get into town.

- Julie

Single Blackeyed Susan

My husband is thinking of taking some of my photographs and adding bible verses to them and putting them on our website for people to use as backgrounds. I think that would be pretty cool!

Here are two of the Hibiscus that are blooming now. There are the smaller ones. They are about 5 inches across. The larger ones are the size of dinner plates.

Phlox

All heck broke loose at my husband's work, so I had to work with him Sunday through Wednesday, and I did not get any of my items entered in the county fair. So you fair folk are the ones who get to reap the rewards of my new camera.... Too bad you can't taste my zucchini bread too

This one looks better when it is enlarged. I have it now as my back ground on my desktop.

These cone flowers (okay, their ancestors) were from my Grandmother's farm. When the farm was sold, my father dug up several plants and moved them into town. We now have them all over the place!

This is darker than I would like, but you can see the bee on the top of the flower. I am still learning about light and shadows and how much light the flash sends out.

A few of my mothers many varieties of Day lilies.

By the way, I love my new-to-me digital camera

This is my second image for the fair. Blackeyed Susans by the Rock. I still like the flag one better, so if I have to choose, I will just enter that one.

Here it is, my entry into this year's county fair photography contest. Yes, I have been working on this shot for several months. At the bottom left is the new flower bed that I put in this summer, my caladiums in the terra pots are new this year, and we bought a new flag. I think I will crop out the John Deere on the right, but maybe not.

How Cute!! A Dog Flower

At Last, the Bulwer-Lytton -

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - An opening sentence containing a burrito, an angel and a shovel was judged appalling enough to win the annual Bulwer-Lytton literary parody prize on Tuesday.

Retired mechanical designer Jim Guigli of California was proclaimed winner of the contest, which challenges entrants to submit their worst opening sentence of an imaginary novel.

Guigli's winning entry read: "Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."

Guigli's powers of invention and his determination to succeed -- he submitted 60 different entries -- also won him a "dishonorable mention" in the historical fiction category.

"My motivation for entering the contest was to find a constructive outlet for my dementia," Guigli quipped.

The Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest was started in 1982 by the English Department at San Jose State University to honor the Victorian novelist who opened his 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" with what were to become the immortal words, "It was a dark and stormy night."

It began as a quiet campus affair and now attracts thousands of entries from around the world. But the grand prize winner receives only a pittance and other winners "must content themselves with becoming household names," organizers say.

The 2006 runner-up, Stuart Vasepuru from Scotland, played with one of the most famous pieces of dialogue from the Clint Eastwood movie "Dirty Harry."

"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' -- and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?"

Blueberries....

I got home from work on Friday and had 5 quarts of blueberries that my 13 yr old had picked that day. Only $9.00 for 5 quarts at the U-pick-it place, but it is also 60 miles away, so you have to figure in gas cost too. My parents brought home 10 quarts. They will freeze most of them, and we will share all winter. We rinse them lay them on cookie sheets in a single layer, and freeze them. I personally think they are good to munch on frozen!



I made 2 pies over the weekend, and one batch of my prize winning blueberry muffins. I had enough pie dough, I made my dad 2 tarts. The look just like miniture blue berry pies, but only 3 inches across. I even made little lattice tops for them!