Life in the Country Lane

-Just some thoughts and words on slowing down, and finding myself.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

It is so hot ...

  • The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
  • The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
  • Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
  • The cows are giving evaporated milk.
  • The trees are whistling for the dogs.
  • You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
  • You can say 113 degrees without fainting.
  • You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
  • Or go to McDonalds to get coffee and pour it on your lap -- just to cool off!
  • You can make instant sun tea.
  • You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
  • The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a bit chilly.
  • You have experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
  • You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
  • You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
  • The 4 summer months are: Tolerable, Hot, Really Hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
  • You discover that in July, it takes only two fingers to drive your car.
  • You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
  • You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
  • Hot water now comes out of both taps.
  • It is noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
  • You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
  • You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
  • No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
  • Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
  • You realise that asphalt has a liquid state.


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